It Is Always A Choice To Stay Stuck. What will You Choose?

I noticed a post on a forum last week, it was from an elderly woman complaining that she and her partner had been shielding for 12 weeks and they could not even open their windows because of all the passing strangers, she expressed how inconsiderate she felt it was that as passing they could be contaminating her with Covid-19.  

Now my initial reaction was one of incredulity. What planet was this person on!  

But then I almost immediately stopped and challenged myself to think consider another perspective. After all, I’m viewing the situation through my lens of values and past experiences. What if I’d been sat inside watching the news for 12 weeks? I might be pretty depressed and scared about things. Sure enough, as I read through the replies there were a mixture of rather unkind ridiculing comments and  also  some very supportive messages offering help and support.  

This reminded me of two things.

Firstly, that we are always making our own map of the world because we are viewing it through our own set of filters (values, past experiences, current circumstances, mood right in this moment, etc). And so is everyone else! And their view (truth) about the situation may be very different.  

Have you ever watched two people arguing about a referee’s decision in a sports match? The decision was the decision. They both saw it in real time at the same time.

But what they believe to be true is quite different.  

It is key to remember, we each make our own model of the world which is true for us. This is useful in being more understanding of others and communicating/responding better.  

Secondly, we all have a choice of how we act and react in any situation, but most of the time we react “automatically” without stopping to think. A case in point is the comments in response to the elderly woman’s post I mentioned.  

What if you did stop just for a few seconds? 

What if you thought about the different options of how you could act/respond to a situation and then consciously choose one that best serves you and everybody else in the situation?  

Be mindful of how you interpret information and situations  

It got me to thinking more widely about being mindful of what we believe and how we interpret information and situations.  

If you believe what you read on the news; that there will be a massive depression and very few jobs around.  

The press say it, we believe it, it becomes a foregone conclusion.  

I’m not here to say that things aren’t likely to be different and to be difficult, for many they may well be. I am speaking with people who have been in jobs and careers for many years and are now facing redundancy. Some of them are saying that it feels like the end of the world because they hadn’t imagined ever doing anything else.  

When things happen that we have no control of that affect our lives significantly, we experience a loss and there is often a grieving process that accompanies that.  

Even if it feels like the end of the world now, there is life and enjoyment beyond this. 

I remember going up to East Anglia on the day a company was announcing a number of redundancies. My job as a Career Coach then was just to ‘be there’ and help people deal with that initial news.  

I remember someone coming in who had gotten engaged the week before and the day before had signed a mortgage agreement. For them it really did feel like everything had gone from perfect to their world collapsing overnight. My purpose on that day was to listen and just help that person see that there was the possibility of other outcomes than the one she had envisaged so far.  

Now it wasn’t an overnight switch back, but by working through a process of educating her on just how valuable her skills were and knowledge around producing a CV that did her justice, within a couple of months she was settled in and enjoying a new role.  

Are you in a similar situation?

If you feel you are in a similar situation these key skillsets make all the difference; Understanding your transferable skills and how to present them (they are always there), learning how to produce your CV and take it to the job market, interview coaching. 

The point is, that there may be things that are happening now and things that you read in the news and see on TV that make you feel very negative about the future, or trapped in a role you no longer really enjoy. 

But, despite all of that, the job market is still there and it is still functioning.  

I’ve been working with people applying for jobs and interviewing, so I know its true. The question is, when are you going to start taking the steps towards making your next career step or securing your future?  

You don’t have to stay stuck for ever, but it is YOU that has to take that first step. 

It might be pulling out your CV for review, or doing some detailed analysis of your transferable skills so you can move in a different direction. There is plenty of useful information to get you going in my other blogs and on my YouTube channel. If you know you need an extra pair of hands to get you moving to where you want to be then I am happy to help, simply click here to get in touch.  

Back in 2008 when there was financial crisis and economic depression the news was full of doom and gloom. Yet a group of business owners in my area decided that they weren’t going to take part in it. They even had badges made up “I’m not taking part in the depression”.  

Guess what? They thrived right through it because they’d adopted a mindset from which they were able to be creative, make different decisions and take action that made sure that they succeeded.  

What will you decide to do?  

I’d love to know, comment below.